Albert Mills - Caneshum Man The World according to Albert Mills

Welcome To The World According To Albert Mills → Website mood: jovial satire → Keynsham status: gert lush
G reetings fellow citizens of Keynsham and The Universe. Albert Mills here, editor of Keynsham's 'other' site - Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum. Welcome one-and-all to my ever-expanding website, including the Encyclopedia Mills - a complete guide to life in Keynsham.

Beneath this very paragraph you will notice several small boxes, each containing a series of words describing what's available to you in The World According To Albert Mills. Click away my babbers. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I do writing it. Albert. x

A handy guide to everything
Ever wanted to know something about Keynsham but didn't know where to turn? Fret no more good citizens, the ultimate guide to Keynsham and The Universe is here to save you.
→ Get Brainy
Irregular rants from Mr Mills
Famed for his regular movements and outspoken opinions, Albert Mills is never short of something to say. Which is the very reason why the 'blog' was invented by intelligent nerds.
→ Read Albert's Blog
Things to look at, not read
Keynsham Monopoly Words are ace but pictures can also, like, totally rock too! Rest your reading retinas by peering at a paltry plethora of pictures.
→ See Things

Top Tens    Top Tens
A hit parade of shit tirades
The Top Ten countdown presented by Albert Mills Esq. Who will be number one? Who is number six? Who's had Pan's People? All this and more after a word from our sponsors.
→ Commence Countdown

The charlton cinema reborn
We all know there's nowt on telly these days. That's why God invented YouTube. Now you don't even have to go there. Let AM-TV bring YouTube to your front door, at no extra cost.
→ Watch It
Tales from a bygone daze
Keynsham isn't just about the Clock Tower and the sweet smell of chocolate. No way. Keynsham has people too - real folks who do stuff and can remember doing it years later.
→ Get Nostalgic
Everything that ever happened
If you're new to Keynsham, or just a life-time Keynshamite who's forgotten loads of stuff due to the effects of White Lightning, the Keynsham History page is the place to catch up.
→ Go Historical

International man of misery
Who, in the name of Lord Lucan's coalman, is Albert bloody Mills? If that's the kind of question you've been asking yourself, then here are the answers you've been looking for.
→ Meet Albert


A Few Words About The World According To Albert Mills
See Also: Mission statement, manifesto, instructions for use → Author status: neo-jocular
The World According To Albert Mills was created with the sole purpose of tickling your chuckle glands. The Credit Crunch™ has plunged us all into a state of non-smiling-ness, and soon we may be in danger of giving ourselves frowning injuries. The World According To Albert Mills is a light-hearted take on the World as seen by myself, Albert Mills, a recovering miserable git. I am not a whistle-blowing megalomaniac. I bear no grudges, nor do I possess enemies. I hope my words come across in the light in which they were originally intended - jovial, satirical and, in the main, not to be taken too seriously.

Younger readers will be alarmed to notice the lack of textual abbreviations and the presence of a mild grasp of grammar. Apologies if this offends you. (Translated: "Ygr rdrz w-B almd 2C no txt abr + therz bg wrds. Soz if ofd."). If you are the type of person who 'doesn't read all that much', then may I suggest that you click here. Have fun, be good. Albert. x