Issue 3 Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum A Different View Of Keynsham December 2003

There's snow business like snow (betting) business...
The seasonal weather for December with our man on the roof Albert Mills.

"As Christmas approaches, it's worth noting that the weather never takes a break. In fact, since the craze of betting on a white Christmas took hold - inspired by the Bing Crosby song - the good old elements have had their work cut out for them during the season of good will, much like Santa Claus himself. The traditional snowy Christmas is a thing of the past now that global warming has been invented, but hapless gamblers still insist on there being a solitary flake of snow landing on the Town Hall roof while Mum gets the turkey ready and Gran sleeps off the Brandy.

Strewth Sheila, sure is a swelter Ever since mankind commenced felling Wales-sized areas of trees in a quest for better furniture, the weather has been on the change. Only last year the infamous El Nino weather system caused havoc when unseasonal rains hit the Wimbledon tennis finals. Other places have experienced hail storms and deadly yellow ice, while some unfortunate areas of the West Country have been exposed to mind-expanding, smoke-like fog, all largely thanks to people's desire to make things out of wood.

So with that in mind, the prediction for December makes sad reading for those intending to bet the family silverwear on a dose of Yultide precipitation. Say it quietly within earshot of a gambler, but the last time snow fell on the 25th in Keynsham was the year 1679. Ladbrokes are set to make another mint this year. Our CFC-enhanced atmosphere is set to bring warm sunshine and muggy nights this coming Christmas. Barbequed turkey anyone?" Albert Mills

MOST SNOW is actually frozen paint which peels off the battered old satellites that hover above the Earth in order to bring us The Simpsons on Sky TV.
CHRISTMAS IS one of the oldest party seasons in the World, having been invented by ancient Japanese greetings card makers in 945 B.C.
EL NINO was named after the famous Brazilian footballer. The literal translation of the name means 'He who buggers up the weather quite a bit'.

Anna Cacia-Court gets herself all worked up about a school closure and some dodgy Xmas lights. READ MORE

The former Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf takes a stroll in Keynsham Memorial Park and gets a bit more than he bargained for. GO TO MO!

Our third exclusive Keynsham webcam, which is precariously balanced on the multi-storey car park roof. VIEW IT

Never mind the colour, feel the quality...
Our exclusive range of Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum T-shirts go on sale in Keynsham and Bath. FULL T-SHIRT DETAILS