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New Hospital (The)     Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: Charlton cinema, old hawthorns, the court house → Estimated cost: one arm and one leg
The New Hospital (sometimes referred to as 'The Health Centre') is a modern-day healthcare-related building situated on the former site of Keynsham Hospital. Despite threats to re-use the old stone, the New Hospital was constructed using Dexion and plasterboard. The New Hospital contains 326 offices, parking for 15 cars and a smoking shelter. It is shaped like a cubist bagel when viewed from space, and is lit up at night like an NPower-sponsored cruise liner.



New Inn (The)     Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: The newbie, the newie, the pub by the chinese → Survived the Great Flood™? Yes
The New Inn is a popular ale house located in the New Piddletown district of Keynsham. The New Inn is part of a binary-pub system along with its twin, The Talbot Inn, and the two pubs are regularly referred to as 'The Newbot' by the town's drinkers. The New Inn possesses a terraced beer garden overlooking the River Chew, and is widely-regarded as being 'Year 1' of the University of Drinking.



New Piddletown     Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: bath hill, Lower bricktown, Piddletown, flanders house → number of roundabouts: 4
New Piddletown is a largely-unresidential district of Keynsham that is charcterised by its many roundabouts. The area is located between the Chandag Region and downtown Keynsham, and owns two car parks, two public houses and a Police Station. New Piddletown is divided by the River Chew into east and west sectors, which are often popular with bladder-relieving revellers and motor car enthusiasts. Despite holding the former site of Zazooz, the area was badly drenched in the Great Flood™ of 1968.



Newsagent Wars (The)     Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: The X factor, Eurovision, Library Wars → Civilian casualties: Light
The Newsagent Wars was a competition run by local retailers to determine the toughest newsagent in Keynsham. The final of the Newsagent Wars took place between Ogborns and Church's. The eventual winner of the contest was Church's, who celebrated the victory by having their annual refit. The event took place in the 1980's and was sponsored by nearby chocolate barons Cadburys.



Nicer Region     Icon Icon Icon
See also: real trees, tractors, fields of gold, russians, sting → Number of roundabouts: none
The Nicer Region is a mainly agricultural administrative district of Keynsham, in Somerset, England. The Nicer Region encompasses the settlements of Compton Dando, Pensford, Woollard, Publow and the capital city of Chewton Keynsham. The Region is bordered to the west by the Chandag Region, and to the south by the foreign Lands of the Marksburyshire plains. The River Chew provides the Region with its main source of food, drinking water and transport.



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